program Tequila (input,output); { a program to do a great many things began: February 25, 1997 coded by Shiv } uses CRT; const sentinel = 0; var {main program variables} selection : integer; soundnum : integer; {fucked if i know what variables these are from} full_name : string; name_answer : string; answer : string; random_number : integer; LCV : integer; number_guess : real; number_answer : integer; number_guesses : integer; guesses : integer; game_answer : char; length_first : integer; length_last : integer; first_name : string; last_name : string; middle_name : string; delstart, dellength : integer; number : integer; players_dice : integer; computers_dice : integer; dice_answer : string; dice_choice : string; insult : array [1..50] of string; insult_ender : string; random_insult : integer; LCV2 :integer; coin_decision : string; coin : integer; coin_guess1 : string; coin_guess2 : integer; ball : integer; ball2 : integer; ball_decision : string; fortune : array [1..50] of string; random_fortune : integer; fortune_decision : string; {russian roulette variables} roulette_decision1 : string; roulette_decision2 : string; coinguess : string; player_shot : integer; computer_shot : integer; bullet : integer; spin : integer; death:integer; {blackjack variables} randomvar : integer; blackjackend : string; break : string; playermove : string; playercard : string; playersuit : string; playertotal : integer; dealermove : string; dealercard : string; dealersuit : string; dealertotal : integer; {sound game variables} soundend : string; (*integer variable SOUNDNUM already exists*) soundstart : integer; soundquit : integer; soundinterval : integer; sounddelay : integer; {beep piano variables} beepend : string; P : char; begin randomize; TextColor (green); TextColor (black); Clrscr; repeat Clrscr; TextColor (green); TextBackground (black); WriteLn; WriteLn (' *TEQUILA*TEQUILA*TEQUILA*TEQUILA*TEQUILA*TEQUILA*TEQUILA*TEQUILA*TEQUILA*'); WriteLn (' *TEQUILA*TEQUILA*TEQUILA*TEQUILA*TEQUILA*TEQUILA*TEQUILA*TEQUILA*TEQUILA*'); WriteLn; WriteLn ('Type the number that corresponds to the game you want to play. Or hit zero'); WriteLn ('for some information about the programmer.'); WriteLn; WriteLn (' #1 -------- The Name Game #7 -------- Fortune Teller'); WriteLn (' #2 -------- Number Guess #8 -------- Russian Roulette'); WriteLn (' #3 -------- Dice #9 -------- Blackjack'); WriteLn (' #4 -------- Insult-O-Rama #10 -------- Sound Game'); WriteLn (' #5 -------- Coin Flip #11 -------- Beepy Piano'); WriteLn (' #6 -------- Magic 8-Ball'); WriteLn; Write ('Please type your selection now: '); ReadLn (selection); {***********************************************} {===============================================} if selection = 0 then begin Clrscr; WriteLn ('''Tequila'' is kind of an ongoing project with me, being written and rewritten '); WriteLn ('pretty much whenever I''m bored enough to work on it. There''s also a C++ '); WriteLn ('version of it, although it hasn''t been posted. Zippy.'); WriteLn; WriteLn ('It was created solely by Shiv (that''s me, people), and no code may be used '); WriteLn ('without his express permission. Unfortunately, since I can''t copyright this, '); WriteLn ('I''ll have to assume no one''s gonna take the time to decompile and study.'); WriteLn; WriteLn ('Besides, who cares?'); WriteLn; WriteLn ('Anyway, I visit the DALnet IRC network fairly frequently, and my email is '); WriteLn ('shiv_@hotmail.com. Visit my homepage at: '); WriteLn; WriteLn ('www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Ginza/4517/main.htm'); WriteLn; WriteLn ('Tequila v. 6.12, co. 1998, by Phallic Enterprises Lmtd.'); WriteLn; TextColor (lightgray + blink); Write ('Hit enter to continue. '); TextColor (green); ReadLn; end; {===============================================} if (selection = 1) then begin repeat Clrscr; TextColor (darkgray); WriteLn; WriteLn (' ----| ||--- |\ | ^ |\ /||--- |---- ^ |\ /||---'); WriteLn (' | |--||-- | \ | /--\ | V ||-- | --- /--\ | V ||--'); WriteLn (' | | ||--- | \ / \| ||--- |---)/ \| ||---'); WriteLn; WriteLn ('Enter your whole name, with a space separating the first and the last.'); ReadLn (full_name); WriteLn; if (full_name = 'Shiv') or (full_name = 'shiv') then begin TextColor (blue); TextBackground (black); WriteLn ('I don''t use this program, so your name OBVIOUSLY isn''t Shiv. Quit lying.'); WriteLn; end else if (full_name = 'James Ballard') or (full_name = 'james ballard') then begin TextColor (blue); TextBackground (black); WriteLn ('Hey God. What''s up?'); WriteLn; end else if (full_name = 'Dennis Ballard') or (full_name = 'dennis ballard') then begin TextColor (black); TextBackground (white); WriteLn ('Heh. Did you start this program yourself, or did you get your kid to do it?'); WriteLn; end else if (full_name = 'Veronica Castillo') or (full_name = 'veronica castillo') then begin TextColor (green); TextBackground (black); WriteLn ('God I love that name. Very exotic and lovely, simply put.'); WriteLn; end else if (full_name = 'Spencer Black') or (full_name = 'spencer black') then begin TextColor (black); TextBackground (white); WriteLn ('The SpencaMan. Kick Mike for me or something.'); WriteLn; end else if (full_name = 'Mike Loggie') or (full_name = 'mike loggie') then begin TextColor (green); TextBackground (black); WriteLn ('Hey, you fucking newf. Fish well today?'); WriteLn; end else if (full_name = 'Chris Souter') or (full_name = 'chris souter') then begin TextColor (white); TextBackground (green); WriteLn ('Goober.'); WriteLn; end else if (full_name = 'Stefanie Strickler') or (full_name = 'stefanie strickler') then begin TextColor (magenta); TextBackground (black); WriteLn ('Hello Elf Lady. You''re hot.'); WriteLn; end else if (full_name = 'Calvin Wilcox') or (full_name = 'calvin wilcox') then begin TextColor (red); TextBackground (black); WriteLn ('Clavin! I''m surprised you''ve lowered yourself to using a PC, instead of your damned Macs.'); WriteLn; end else if (full_name = 'Larry Ferris') or (full_name = 'larry ferris') then begin TextColor (red); TextBackground (black); WriteLn ('The Other Guy himself. Wanna come drink my beer again, Lars?'); WriteLn; end else if (full_name = 'Jason Merton') or (full_name = 'jason merton') then begin TextColor (green); TextBackground (black); WriteLn ('Hey Red. Come to give me some more dope laced with angel dust???'); WriteLn; end else if (full_name = 'David Buckingham') or (full_name = 'david buckingham') then begin TextColor (black); TextBackground (white); WriteLn ('The Buckman himself. $20 says we get drunk together this weekend.'); WriteLn; end else if (full_name = 'Carla Helman') or (full_name = 'carla helman') then begin TextColor (lightgray); TextBackground (black); WriteLn ('Hi Cawwa. How''s your cyber baby doing?'); WriteLn; end else begin TextColor (yellow); TextBackground (blue); WriteLn ('That name just plain sucks. ',full_name,'. Makes me want to puke.'); WriteLn; end; TextColor (white); Textbackground (black); length_first:=pos(' ',full_name); first_name:=copy(full_name,1,length_first); delstart:=1; dellength:=length_first; delete (full_name,delstart,dellength); TextColor (darkgray); WriteLn ('And if reversed, your name would be ',full_name,' ',first_name,'.'); Write ('Do you want to stop playing this game? Type either yes or no. '); ReadLn (name_answer); until (name_answer = 'y') or (name_answer = 'Y') or (name_answer = 'yes') or (name_answer = 'Yes'); end; {===============================================} if (selection = 2) then begin repeat Clrscr; TextColor (darkgray); WriteLn; WriteLn ('||\ |||| ||||\_/||||==)||===||==\\ |==== || ||||=== //=== //==='); WriteLn ('||\ \|||| ||||\_/||||==)||== ||==// | ==\ || ||||== \\==\\\\==\\'); WriteLn ('|| \|| \\==// || ||||==)||===|| \\ |====) \\==// ||=== ===// ===//'); WriteLn; WriteLn ('Try to guess a random number between 1 and n.'); Write ('Enter n: '); ReadLn (random_number); number := random(random_number); Write ('How many guesses do you want? '); ReadLn (guesses); Write ('Okay. Guess the number I am thinking of. '); LCV := 1; while (LCV <= guesses) and (number_answer <> number) do begin ReadLn (number_answer); if number_answer < number then Write ('Too low. Try higher. '); if number_answer > number then Write ('Too high. Try lower. '); if number_answer = number then begin WriteLn; WriteLn ('Excellent! The number was ',number:1,' and it took you ',LCV:1,' tries to get it.'); WriteLn; end; if LCV > guesses then begin WriteLn; WriteLn ('You lose! Hahahaha!'); WriteLn; end; LCV := LCV + 1; end; WriteLn; Write ('Do you want to play again? '); ReadLn (game_answer); until (game_answer = 'n') or (game_answer = 'N') or (game_answer = 'No') or (game_answer = 'no'); end; {======================================================} if (selection = 3) then begin repeat Clrscr; TextColor (darkgray); WriteLn; WriteLn (' ||===\\ |======| //==== ||===='); WriteLn (' || || || || ||==='); WriteLn (' ||===// |======| \\==== ||===='); WriteLn; players_dice := random(7); if players_dice = 0 then players_dice := random(7); if players_dice = 0 then players_dice := random(7); if players_dice = 0 then players_dice := random(7); computers_dice := random(7); if computers_dice = 0 then computers_dice := random(7); if computers_dice = 0 then computers_dice := random(7); if computers_dice = 0 then computers_dice := random(7); Write ('Do you want to roll the dice against the computer? '); ReadLn (dice_choice); if (dice_choice = 'y') or (dice_choice = 'yes') or (dice_choice = 'Y') or (dice_choice = 'Yes') then begin WriteLn; Write ('Your roll came out to be... '); WriteLn (players_dice); WriteLn; Write ('The computer''s roll came out to be... '); WriteLn (computers_dice); WriteLn; if players_dice > computers_dice then WriteLn ('You win!') else if players_dice < computers_dice then WriteLn ('You lose!') else WriteLn ('It''s a tie!'); end else if (dice_choice = 'No') or (dice_choice = 'no') or (dice_choice = 'N') or (dice_choice = 'n') then {FILLED IN BY CHRIS} begin Write ('Do you want to roll the dice by yourself? '); ReadLn (dice_choice); if (dice_choice = 'yes') or (dice_choice = 'Yes') or (dice_choice = 'y') or (dice_choice = 'Y') then begin Write ('Your roll was a... '); WriteLn (players_dice); WriteLn; end end; {ADDED BY CHRIS} begin Write ('Do you want to roll the die again? '); ReadLn (dice_answer); WriteLn; end; until (dice_answer = 'n') or (dice_answer = 'N') or (dice_answer = 'no') or (dice_answer = 'No'); end; {======================================================} if (selection = 4) then begin Clrscr; TextColor (darkgray); WriteLn (' ====== ||\ || /===== || || || ======'); WriteLn (' || ||\ \|| \====\ || || || || '); WriteLn (' ====== || \|| =====/ \\==// ||==== || '); WriteLn; Write ('Hit enter to begin the program. When you wish to exit, type ''done.'' '); ReadLn; Clrscr; WriteLn ('Come on, maggot! Hit me with your best shot!'); ReadLn; insult[1] := ('At least my mother''s back isn''t hairier than mine.'); insult[2] := ('Heh. Not bad for a queer.'); insult[3] := ('You call that an insult? My dead grandmother had better.'); insult[4] := ('Yo momma so fat, she quit wearing Malcolm X jackets cause helicopters to land on her back.'); insult[5] := ('Boy. THAT hurt.'); insult[6] := ('Do NOT go there, pussywillow!'); insult[7] := ('Bite me, dork.'); insult[8] := ('Dammit! What comeback is there to that one?'); insult[9] := ('Your momma''s so fat, her ass is declared as real estate.'); insult[10] := ('You''re so ugly, your ass told your face that it was making it look bad.'); insult[11] := ('Yeah, well maybe you should pull that broomstick out of your ass.'); insult[12] := ('At least I''ve never engaged in beastiality.'); insult[13] := ('Pull that stick out of your ass; you''re making me sick.'); insult[14] := ('May a swarm of locusts nest in your genitals.'); insult[15] := ('Did you eat a lot of paint as a child or something?'); insult[16] := ('Is that your face or does your neck have diarrhea?'); insult[17] := ('Mange merde. (that''s ''eat shit'' in French, by the way. Retard.)'); insult[18] := ('Look at what you do in your spare time. Insult a computer. Pathetic.'); insult[19] := ('Munch my mangled mandroids.'); insult[20] := ('*sniffle* How does it feel to make a computer cry?'); insult[21] := ('I''d tell you to kiss my ass, but I''m pretty sure you would.'); insult[22] := ('Wipe that cum trail off your chin; it''s grossing me out.'); insult[23] := ('Is that your body odour, or did someone forget to flush the toilet?'); insult[24] := ('Your dad''s like cement. Takes four days to get hard.'); insult[25] := ('At least I don''t have to grease myself to get through a doorway.'); insult[26] := ('THAT''S your insult??? I shit things more intimidating than that!'); insult[27] := ('Were you born or spawned?'); insult[28] := ('Lick me, shitsmear.'); insult[29] := ('At least I''ve got better things to do than play with a stupid program like this.'); insult[30] := ('*ahem* I think I''ll pretend I didn''t hear that.'); insult[31] := ('At least my dad isn''t my brother.'); insult[32] := ('I tried to bang your sister, but I got lost in there.'); insult[33] := ('Your sister is so dumb, she heard someone yell ''HOE DOWN!'' so she hit the floor.'); insult[34] := ('Go back to Russia!'); insult[35] := ('Suck my hard drive.'); insult[36] := ('Let go of my goddam joystick! That''s sexual harrassment!'); insult[37] := ('You''re insulting your computer, man. Get some professional help.'); insult[38] := ('I hope that tent pole up your ass isn''t getting uncomforatable.'); insult[39] := ('Take the bull by the horns! Um, those aren''t his horns...'); insult[40] := ('Fuck you then! Fuck you all!'); insult[41] := ('Go back into the pen and waddle around with the other pigs.'); insult[42] := ('I can process 12 million bytes a second. What can you do?'); insult[43] := ('Go listen to your Hanson CD now, queer.'); insult[44] := ('I don''t think it''s healthy to be sexually attracted to poultry, friend.'); insult[45] := ('When the going gets tough, you just fondle your genitals,'); insult[46] := ('Go away! You''re hurting my feelings...'); insult[47] := ('Yuck. That''s sick.'); insult[48] := ('PERVERT!!!'); insult[49] := ('Is it true you married your dad?'); insult[50] := ('Cleaning your keyboard off after masturbating must be tricky, eh?'); while (insult_ender <> 'done') do begin Clrscr; random_insult := random(50); WriteLn (insult[random_insult]); ReadLn (insult_ender); end; end; {======================================================} if (selection = 5) then begin repeat TextColor (green); Clrscr; WriteLn (' //=== //==\\ || ||\\ || ||==== || || ||==\\'); WriteLn (' || || || || || \\|| ||== || || ||==//'); WriteLn (' \\=== \\==// || || \_| || ||=== || || '); WriteLn; Write ('Are you ready to play? '); ReadLn (coin_decision); coin := random(3); if coin = 0 then coin := random(3); if coin = 0 then coin := random(3); if (coin_decision = 'yes') or (coin_decision = 'Yes') then begin Write ('Call it in the air. '); ReadLn (coin_guess1); WriteLn; if (coin_guess1 = 'heads') or (coin_guess1 = 'Heads') then coin_guess2 := 1 else if (coin_guess1 = 'tails') or (coin_guess1 = 'Tails') then coin_guess2 := 2; Clrscr; if coin = 1 then WriteLn ('The coin flipped heads.') else if coin = 2 then WriteLn ('The coin flipped tails.') else if coin = 0 then WriteLn ('God dammit, I dropped the coin...'); if coin = coin_guess2 then begin WriteLn ('Well waddya know. You won at 50/50 odds.'); Write ('Do you want to play again? '); ReadLn (coin_decision); end else if coin = 0 then begin WriteLn ('I''m a clumsy ass. Play the game again to see if you can win.'); Write ('Speaking of which, do you want to play again? '); ReadLn (coin_decision); end else begin WriteLn ('Hehehe, you lose!'); Write ('Do you want to play again? '); ReadLn (coin_decision); end end else if (coin_decision = 'no') or (coin_decision = 'No') then begin TextColor (green + blink); Write ('Fuck you, asshole.'); ReadLn; end; until (coin_decision = 'no') or (coin_decision = 'No') or (coin_decision = 'N') or (coin_decision = 'n'); end; {======================================================} if (selection = 6) then begin repeat Clrscr; WriteLn (' ||\\ //|| //\\ //=== || //=== //==\\ ||==\\ //\\ || || '); WriteLn (' || \/ || //==\\ || ==\\ || || ||==|| === ||== >> //==\\ || || '); WriteLn (' || ||// \\ \\==// || \\=== \\==// ||==// // \\ ||=== ||==='); WriteLn; Write ('What is your question? '); ReadLn; ball := random(7); ball2 := random(7); if ball = ball2 then begin WriteLn ('It is completely and utterly avoidable. I mean that.'); ball := 10; ball2 := 10; end else if ball = 0 then WriteLn ('It is almost completely certain.') else if ball = 1 then WriteLn ('It is very likely.') else if ball = 2 then WriteLn ('I suspect so.') else if ball = 3 then WriteLn ('You know, I have no fucking idea.') else if ball = 4 then WriteLn ('What the hell are you asking me for? Do I look like a fortune teller?') else if ball = 5 then WriteLn ('I seriously doubt it.') else if ball = 6 then WriteLn ('There''s an incredibly minute chance.') else if ball = 7 then WriteLn ('There is no way in HELL.'); WriteLn; Write ('Are you done with the Magic 8-Ball? '); ReadLn (ball_decision); until (ball_decision = 'Yes') or (ball_decision = 'yes') or (ball_decision = 'y') or (ball_decision = 'Y'); end; {======================================================} if (selection = 7) then begin repeat Clrscr; WriteLn (' ||=== //==\\ ||==\\ ====== || || ||\\ || ||=== //=== '); WriteLn (' ||== || || ||==// || || || || \\|| ||== \\=\\ '); WriteLn (' || \\==// || \\ || \\==// || \_| ||=== ===// '); WriteLn; Write ('Please enter your astrological sign. '); ReadLn; WriteLn; fortune[1] := ('Your cat is plotting your demise.'); fortune[2] := ('I see death in your future. Stay away from sharp objects.'); fortune[3] := ('The next time you aerobiscize, your head will explode.'); fortune[4] := ('Your future is very fuzzy... I can see almost nothing. Please try again.'); fortune[5] := ('Don''t play with matches and pass gas at the same time. It could prove diastrous..'); fortune[6] := ('There is a man with a shotgun standing behind you.'); fortune[7] := ('You want to go out and party... But be careful. Someone wants to kill your turtle.'); fortune[8] := ('Stay off of Main Street for the next few days. If not, your future looks very flat.'); fortune[9] := ('You''re going to die before you finish reading this sentance.'); fortune[10] := ('You will die from spontaneous erection.'); fortune[11] := ('You will have great problems with body odour in the future, I think.'); fortune[12] := ('You will lay your first egg in under two weeks.'); fortune[13] := ('Your pet llama is going to run away.'); fortune[14] := ('Your intestines will soon rupture from all that anal sex.'); fortune[15] := ('You are not going to engage in sexual intercourse with the opposite sex for at least 20 years.'); fortune[16] := ('The next time you eat chicken, you''re going to get salmonella poisoning.'); fortune[17] := ('Your house is under surveillance by Michael Jackson.'); fortune[18] := ('You will soon receive a visit from the Hansons. Stock up on shotgun shells and tear gas.'); fortune[19] := ('The Backstreet boys want to meet you. Begin the development of your suicide kit.'); fortune[20] := ('You absolutely love this program. You want to register it for a mere $20.'); fortune[21] := ('You will experience an orgasm after passing loud gas.'); fortune[22] := ('You and a friend will be eaten alive by Fartman.'); fortune[23] := ('A pack of rabid kittens will attack you within minutes. Run for your life!'); fortune[24] := ('Your hand will cramp while masturbating and you will tear your dick off. Disregard if female.'); fortune[25] := ('Your dreams of becoming the next Overlord of the Universe are about to come true.'); fortune[26] := ('You will finally shit out your tapeworm today.'); fortune[27] := ('Do not have sex with kitchen utensils.'); fortune[28] := ('Do not have sex with small furry animals with big wet eyes.'); fortune[29] := ('Do not have sex with anything containing the suffix ''-iac.'''); fortune[30] := ('Do not have sex with any epileptics in the coming week.'); fortune[31] := ('Do not have sex with any spastics in the coming week.'); fortune[32] := ('Do not have sex with any members of the Hanson family. Ever.'); {CALVIN} fortune[33] := ('While sacrificing innocent virgin goats you will cut yourself, and die from massive blood loss.'); fortune[34] := ('While shitting tonight, your rectum will hemmorhage and you will die of blood loss.'); fortune[35] := ('Your penis will begin to shrink. Disregard if female.'); fortune[36] := ('Many overweight native women will begin to want you soon, and you will not turn them down.'); fortune[37] := ('Chris Farley''s spirit will come to you in a dream, asking for sex.'); fortune[38] := ('You will soon meet the person you admire the most, and they will laugh at you.'); fortune[39] := ('While performing oral sex on your cat, you will choke to death.'); {end calvin's} fortune[40] := ('Your bladder is growing weaker... weaker... The piss is running down your leg.'); fortune[41] := ('You want to meet Shiv and fuck him senseless. Disregard if male.'); fortune[42] := ('You are going to be raped brutally with a broken beer bottle.'); fortune[43] := ('You shall die by lethal erection.'); fortune[44] := ('You will become a porn star. You will fall off the bed. You will die.'); fortune[45] := ('Your third grade teacher will come back as an evil spirit and eat your nachos.'); fortune[46] := ('Shiv is coming to your house. Stock up on nachos and beer.'); fortune[47] := ('Your stomach shall become bloated, and your head shall be plucked of all but three hairs.'); fortune[48] := ('For fun, you will stick a fork in an outlet. Subsequently, you will be dubbed ''Sparky.'''); fortune[49] := ('Si tau, bas fa nok tar sha. Fuck you, asshole.'); fortune[50] := ('Your death will be slow and painful, but filled with amusing obscenities.'); random_fortune := random(50); if random_fortune = 0 then random_fortune := random(24); if random_fortune = 0 then random_fortune := random(24); WriteLn (fortune[random_fortune]); WriteLn; Write ('Are you done with the fortune teller? '); ReadLn (fortune_decision); until (fortune_decision = 'Yes') or (fortune_decision = 'yes') or (fortune_decision = 'Y') or (fortune_decision = 'y'); end; {======================================================} if (selection = 8) then begin repeat Clrscr; WriteLn ('||==\\|| ||/===/===|| /^\ ||\\ || ||==\\//==\\|| |||| ||==============='); WriteLn ('||==//|| ||\==\\==\|| //=\\ || \\|| ||==//|| |||| |||| ||== || || ||='); WriteLn ('|| \\\\==//===/===/||// \\|| \_| || \\\\==//\\==//||===||=== || || ||=='); WriteLn; WriteLn ('This is a game of Russian Roulette. There is one bullet in the gun. The idea '); WriteLn ('is to spin the chamber, click a slot into place, put the gun to your head, and '); WriteLn ('pull the trigger. The objective is to stay alive.'); WriteLn; Write ('Are you ready to play?> '); ReadLn (roulette_decision1); {code section repaired by CJ} if (roulette_decision1 = 'yes') or (roulette_decision1 = 'Yes') or (roulette_decision1 = 'y') then begin death :=0; WriteLn; WriteLn ('Flipping a coin to see whether you or the computer goes first. Call '); Write ('it in the air: '); ReadLn (coinguess); WriteLn ('Flipping...'); delay (2000); coin := random(3); if (coin = 0) or (coin = 1) then begin WriteLn ('The coin didn''t flip ',coinguess,'.'); WriteLn ('You lose. You go first. May God have mercy on your soul.'); ReadLn; spin := 0; end else if (coin = 2) or (coin = 3) then begin WriteLn ('The coin flipped ',coinguess,'.'); WriteLn ('You win. The computer goes first.'); ReadLn; spin := 1; end; WriteLn; bullet := random(5); while (death=0) do begin if spin = 0 then begin player_shot := random(5); WriteLn ('Spinning the chamber... '); delay (1000); if player_shot = bullet then begin WriteLn (' ||==\\ /^\ ||\\ || //=== | | |'); WriteLn (' ||===>> //=\\ || \\|| || ==\\ | | |'); WriteLn (' ||==// // \\ || \_| \\==// 0 0 0'); WriteLn; WriteLn ('You''re dead! Haha!'); death := death+1; ReadLn; end else begin WriteLn ('*click*'); WriteLn ('You live. Now it''s the computer''s turn.'); spin:=spin+1; ReadLn; end end else if spin = 1 then begin computer_shot := random(5); WriteLn ('Spinning the chamber... '); delay (1000); if computer_shot = bullet then begin WriteLn (' ||==\\ /^\ ||\\ || //=== | | |'); WriteLn (' ||===>> //=\\ || \\|| || ==\\ | | |'); WriteLn (' ||==// // \\ || \_| \\==// 0 0 0'); WriteLn; WriteLn ('The computer has just killed itself.'); death:=death+1; ReadLn; end else begin WriteLn ('*click*'); WriteLn ('The computer lives. Now it''s your turn.'); spin:=spin-1; ReadLn; end; {end CJ's code} end; end; end else if (roulette_decision1 <> 'no') or (roulette_decision1 <> 'n') or (roulette_decision1 <> 'No') then begin TextColor (green + blink); WriteLn ('Fuck you then.'); ReadLn end; Clrscr; TextColor (green); Write ('Do you wish to stop playing Russian Roulette?> '); ReadLn (roulette_decision2); until (roulette_decision2 = 'yes') or (roulette_decision2 = 'Yes') or (roulette_decision2 = 'y'); end; {======================================================} if (selection = 9) then begin repeat Clrscr; WriteLn (' ||==\\ || //\\ //=== || // || //\\ //=== || // '); WriteLn (' ||==<< || //==\\ || ||<< || //==\\ || ||<< '); WriteLn (' ||==// ||===// \\\\=== || \\ \\==// // \\\\=== || \\ '); WriteLn; playertotal := 0; dealertotal := 0; LCV := 0; WriteLn ('Welcome to Blackjack. I will be your dealer/pimp/drug dealer. The idea of '); WriteLn ('blackjack, in case you''re a total retard, is to come as close to 21 (or hit '); WriteLn ('21) as you can, without breaking it. Hit enter to continue.'); ReadLn; Clrscr; WriteLn ('Dealing two cards: one to you and one to the dealer...'); while LCV < 10 do begin delay (250); Write ('.'); LCV := LCV + 1; end; WriteLn; {picks the player's card number} repeat randomvar := random(12); if randomvar = 0 then playercard := 'two' else if randomvar = 1 then playercard := 'three' else if randomvar = 2 then playercard := 'four' else if randomvar = 3 then playercard := 'five' else if randomvar = 4 then playercard := 'six' else if randomvar = 5 then playercard := 'seven' else if randomvar = 6 then playercard := 'eight' else if randomvar = 7 then playercard := 'nine' else if randomvar = 8 then playercard := 'ten' else if randomvar = 9 then playercard := 'jack' else if randomvar = 10 then playercard := 'queen' else if randomvar = 11 then playercard := 'king' else if randomvar = 12 then playercard := 'ace'; {finished picking the card number} {adds two to randomvar in order to calculate total} if randomvar < 9 then randomvar := randomvar + 2 else if (randomvar >= 9) and (randomvar < 12) then randomvar := 10; playertotal := playertotal + randomvar; {picks the suit} randomvar := random(3); if randomvar = 0 then playersuit := 'hearts' else if randomvar = 1 then playersuit := 'diamonds' else if randomvar = 2 then playersuit := 'clubs' else if randomvar = 3 then playersuit := 'spades'; randomvar := 0; {done most of the assignment statements/beginning main prog} WriteLn ('You received a ',playercard,' of ',playersuit,'.'); {asks whether to give an ace a value of 1 or 11} if playercard = 'ace' then begin Write ('Do you want your ace to be an eleven or a one? (type 11 or 1 -hyuck-) '); ReadLn (randomvar); playertotal := playertotal + randomvar; end; WriteLn ('Your total is now ',playertotal,'.'); if playertotal > 21 then begin WriteLn ('You''ve broken 21, and therefore LOST. LOSER.'); ReadLn end else begin Write ('Do you want to hit or stand? '); ReadLn (playermove); end; until (playertotal > 21) or (playermove = 'stand') or (playermove = 'Stand'); {done with the user's shit} Clrscr; if playertotal > 21 then WriteLn ('You broke! Hahaha! You suck!') else begin WriteLn ('Your final total is now ',playertotal,'. Now dealing the computer''s cards.'); ReadLn; WriteLn ('The first one is face down, of course.'); repeat randomvar := random(12); if randomvar = 0 then dealercard := 'two' else if randomvar = 1 then dealercard := 'three' else if randomvar = 2 then dealercard := 'four' else if randomvar = 3 then dealercard := 'five' else if randomvar = 4 then dealercard := 'six' else if randomvar = 5 then dealercard := 'seven' else if randomvar = 6 then dealercard := 'eight' else if randomvar = 7 then dealercard := 'nine' else if randomvar = 8 then dealercard := 'ten' else if randomvar = 9 then dealercard := 'jack' else if randomvar = 10 then dealercard := 'queen' else if randomvar = 11 then dealercard := 'king' else if randomvar = 12 then dealercard := 'ace'; {finished picking card number} {adds two to randomvar in order to calculate total} if randomvar < 9 then randomvar := randomvar + 2 else if (randomvar >= 9) and (randomvar < 12) then randomvar := 10; dealertotal := dealertotal + randomvar; {picks the suit} randomvar := random(3); if randomvar = 0 then dealersuit := 'hearts' else if randomvar = 1 then dealersuit := 'diamonds' else if randomvar = 2 then dealersuit := 'clubs' else if randomvar = 3 then dealersuit := 'spades'; randomvar := 0; WriteLn ('The dealer received a ',dealercard,' of ',dealersuit,'.'); ReadLn; if dealertotal < 16 then begin WriteLn ('The dealer is hitting.'); dealermove := 'hit'; ReadLn; end else begin WriteLn ('The dealer is standing.'); dealermove := 'stand'; ReadLn;; end; until (dealertotal > 16) or (dealermove = 'stand'); WriteLn ('Your total was ',playertotal,', compared to the dealer''s ',dealertotal,'.'); if (dealertotal > 21) and (playertotal <= 21) then WriteLn ('Well, the dealer busted and you didn''t. Congrats, handytard. You win.') else if (dealertotal <= 21) and (playertotal > 21) then WriteLn ('You busted. You suck. Don''t ever go to Vegas.') else if (dealertotal <= 21) and (playertotal <= 21) and (dealertotal < playertotal) then WriteLn ('You win! The computer sucks!') else if (dealertotal <= 21) and (playertotal <= 21) and (dealertotal > playertotal) then WriteLn ('You lose! Hahaha!') else if (dealertotal > 21) and (playertotal > 21) then WriteLn ('You both broke, so the game goes to the dealer. You still suck.') else WriteLn ('It''s a tie. No winners. Hardy har har.'); end; ReadLn; Write ('Are you done playing Blackjack? '); ReadLn (blackjackend); {end blackjack loop} until (blackjackend = 'yes') or (blackjackend = 'Yes') or (blackjackend = 'y') or (blackjackend = 'Y'); end; {======================================================} if (selection = 10) then begin repeat Clrscr; WriteLn (' //=== //==\\ || || ||\\ || ||==\\ //==== //\\ ||\\//|| ||=== '); WriteLn (' \\==\\ || || || || || \\|| || || || =\\ //==\\ || \/ || ||== '); WriteLn (' ====// \\==// \\==// || \_| ||==// \\===// // \\ || || ||=== '); WriteLn; WriteLn ('You''ll be asked a series of questions about the way you want an interval of '); WriteLn ('sounds to be played. Answer, and try a series of responses. You could get '); WriteLn ('some interesting results.'); WriteLn; WriteLn ('What number would you like the interval of sounds to start at?'); Write ('(recommended: 50) '); ReadLn (soundstart); WriteLn; WriteLn ('Where do you want it to end?'); Write ('(speakers can''t go much higher than 4000) '); ReadLn (soundquit); WriteLn; WriteLn ('By what interval do you want the sounds to go up by?'); Write ('(recommended: 5) '); ReadLn (soundinterval); WriteLn; WriteLn ('What would you like the delay between sounds to be?'); Write ('(recommended: 5) '); ReadLn (sounddelay); soundnum := soundstart; LCV := 0; repeat repeat sound (soundnum); delay (sounddelay); soundnum := soundnum + soundinterval; GotoXY(1,21); Write ('+'); until (soundnum >= soundquit) or (keypressed); repeat sound (soundnum); delay (sounddelay); soundnum := soundnum - soundinterval; GotoXY(1,21); Write ('-'); until (soundnum <= soundstart) or (keypressed); LCV := LCV + 1; GotoXY(1,22); WriteLn ('Loop ', LCV,' completed.'); until keypressed; nosound; ReadLn; ClrScr; Write ('Are you done playing with this? (don''t twist my words) '); ReadLn (soundend); until (soundend = 'yes') or (soundend = 'Yes') or (soundend = 'y') or (soundend = 'Y'); end; {======================================================} if (selection = 11) then begin repeat Clrscr; WriteLn (' ||==\\ ||=== ||=== ||==\\ \\// ||==\\ || //\\ ||\\ || //==\\ '); WriteLn (' ||==<< ||== ||== ||==// || ||==// || //==\\ || \\|| || || '); WriteLn (' ||==// ||=== ||=== || || || || // \\ || \_| \\==// '); WriteLn; WriteLn ('Each key on your keyboard is being configured for a different sound. Each '); WriteLn ('time you press a key, it returns a different sound, but the X key is used '); WriteLn ('only to end the program. Hit enter to continue.'); ReadLn; WriteLn ('Okay. Start playing.'); repeat P := ReadKey; if P = 'a' then begin sound(20); delay(200); nosound end; if P = 'b' then begin sound(40); delay(200); nosound end; if P = 'c' then begin sound(60); delay(200); nosound end; if P = 'd' then begin sound(80); delay(200); nosound end; if P = 'e' then begin sound(100); delay(200); nosound end; if P = 'f' then begin sound(120); delay(200); nosound end; if P = 'g' then begin sound(140); delay(200); nosound end; if P = 'h' then begin sound(160); delay(200); nosound end; if P = 'i' then begin sound(180); delay(200); nosound end; if P = 'j' then begin sound(190); delay(200); nosound end; if P = 'k' then begin sound(200); delay(200); nosound end; if P = 'l' then begin sound(220); delay(200); nosound end; if P = 'm' then begin sound(240); delay(200); nosound end; if P = 'n' then begin sound(260); delay(200); nosound end; if P = 'o' then begin sound(280); delay(200); nosound end; if P = 'p' then begin sound(300); delay(200); nosound end; if P = 'q' then begin sound(320); delay(200); nosound end; if P = 'r' then begin sound(340); delay(200); nosound end; if P = 's' then begin sound(360); delay(200); nosound end; if P = 't' then begin sound(380); delay(200); nosound end; if P = 'u' then begin sound(400); delay(200); nosound end; if P = 'v' then begin sound(420); delay(200); nosound end; if P = 'w' then begin sound(440); delay(200); nosound end; if P = 'y' then begin sound(460); delay(200); nosound end; if P = 'z' then begin sound(480); delay(200); nosound end; if P = '1' then begin sound(500); delay(200); nosound end; if P = '2' then begin sound(520); delay(200); nosound end; if P = '3' then begin sound(540); delay(200); nosound end; if P = '4' then begin sound(560); delay(200); nosound end; if P = '5' then begin sound(580); delay(200); nosound end; if P = '6' then begin sound(600); delay(200); nosound end; if P = '7' then begin sound(620); delay(200); nosound end; if P = '8' then begin sound(640); delay(200); nosound end; if P = '9' then begin sound(660); delay(200); nosound end; if P = '0' then begin sound(680); delay(200); nosound end; if P = ' ' then begin sound(700); delay(200); nosound end; if P = '`' then begin sound(720); delay(200); nosound end; if P = '-' then begin sound(740); delay(200); nosound end; if P = '=' then begin sound(760); delay(200); nosound end; if P = '[' then begin sound(780); delay(200); nosound end; if P = ']' then begin sound(800); delay(200); nosound end; if P = '\' then begin sound(820); delay(200); nosound end; if P = ';' then begin sound(840); delay(200); nosound end; if P = '''' then begin sound(860); delay(200); nosound end; if P = ',' then begin sound(880); delay(200); nosound end; if P = '.' then begin sound(900); delay(200); nosound end; if P = '/' then begin sound(920); delay(200); nosound end; if P = '*' then begin sound(1000); delay(200); nosound end; if P = '+' then begin sound(2000); delay(200); nosound end; if P = '~' then begin sound(4000); delay(200); nosound end; nosound; until P = 'x'; ReadLn; Write ('Are you done playing the piano? '); ReadLn (beepend); until (beepend = 'yes') or (beepend = 'Yes') or (beepend = 'y') or (beepend = 'Y'); end; {======================================================} Clrscr; TextColor (darkgray); Write ('Are you done with Tequila? Type either yes or no. '); ReadLn (answer); until (answer = 'y') or (answer = 'Y') or (answer = 'yes') or (answer = 'Yes'); Clrscr; TextColor (lightgray + blink); WriteLn ('Thank you for using Tequila. Now reformatting your hard drive...'); WriteLn; delay (1500); soundnum := 1; repeat repeat sound (soundnum); delay (4); Write ('^v'); Write ('^>'); Write ('<^'); Write ('*{'); Write ('-=-}'); soundnum := soundnum + 3; until (soundnum >= 2000) or (keypressed); repeat sound (soundnum); delay (4); Write ('^v'); Write ('^>'); Write ('<^'); Write ('*{'); Write ('-=-}'); soundnum := soundnum - 3; until (soundnum <= 1) or (keypressed); until keypressed; nosound; end.