<Oafdog_DFA> kk's make me wanna molest old ladies <FatChickThrilla_DFA> air makes me wanna molest old ladies, wtf does kk have to do with that
<All_Star25_SKA> many canadians can find common ground with americans <Andrew[DFA]> yeah, our leader talks funny and yours bombs a country ive never heard of every five years
<Shiv_DFA> apparently the airspeed of an unladen swallow is 24 miles an hour
<Shiv_DFA> hey flyp, did you know that the airspeed of an unladen swallow is 24 miles an hour? <demonrage> i bet ur thinking "i can swallow faster than that"
<Shiv_DFA> cursed azn <Shiv_DFA> the hiroshima radiation gave you all superpowers
<Proffessor> it was the next coming of jesus.... but, nooooooo, you had to play with the coathanger
<Shiv_DFA> hm, the irony of "enlighten the nucks" is that my psu is an enlight <Shiv_DFA> and why did i just read "psu" as "penis"
<Shiv_DFA> back in the old days, you used windows media player and LIKED it <Shiv_DFA> you know why? anything else gave you CANCER
<+Ivy[OmNi]> so.. you come here often? Lemme buy you a drink <@Warlock[OmNi]> im a minor <+Ivy[OmNi]> it's all good, I am a pedophile... I have candy
<Shiv_DFA> oh my god, i just ripped the biggest fart of my life <Shiv_DFA> i think i broke my ass
<Shiv_DFA> i'll be up your ass like a backwards shit
Shiv_DFA: You can't tell, but right now I'm taking a shit on an effigy of you.
<Oaf_DFA> man, that one felt so big coming out i thought i was gonna have to name it
*** Now talking in #tZrhj26trDS4yurgrCNR4eyd | *** Topic is 'The Only Channel With A Name Created By Head-Butting The Keyboard'
<Shiv_DFA> hey guys, what's long and hard and fucks old people? <Oafdog_DFA> my dick? <Shiv_DFA> cancer! <Shiv_DFA> badda-BING
<Oafdog_DFA> lol, i was just sitting on the toilet the other night, heard the computer beep, came in, saw virus, freaked out <Shiv_DFA> did you wipe first, or did you just run screaming to the computer while covered in shit? <demon|werk> prolly went streaking outside <demon|werk> yelling "i have a virus and a dirty bum!"
* Shiv_DFA deletes oaf's country <Shiv_DFA> country music, that is <Shiv_DFA> not the united states
<Shiv_DFA> he's just mad because he's one of those chinese boatpeople, and i reported him to immigration <Shiv_DFA> "you make me go back to motherland, ching-chong-chang"
<Cairn> i am a native <Cairn> which probably means i've jacked your bicycle at one point
<Shiv_DFA> "i dunno what's up with that crazy negro, Mr Officer" <Shiv_DFA> "he started screaming all sorts of baboon words at me, and i don't speak monkey"
<twiztid> niggers were imported here <twiztid> they are not nuck <Shiv_DFA> we needed someone to mow the grass
<Shiv_DFA> well, they're azn <Shiv_DFA> prolly too busy getting degrees and owning people in starcraft
<Al_DFA> highlander, what a bitch <Al_DFA> he should come back when his balls drop
<Shiv_DFA> dude, toronto flushes it's poop into lake ontario <Shiv_DFA> and ontario goes right into lake michigan <Shiv_DFA> you're drinking our poop, man <demon|werk> ur not dumping your waste into fresh water u monkey <Shiv_DFA> shup poopdrinker
<Dark_Wing> watching star trek... and Data is nipple hard
<`Apoc`> i want anal! cha cha cha!
<Shiv_DFA> shit, the first time i did that, i had nuts the size of basketballs for a week <JtotheB> i immediately went home and covered my mirror in semen <JtotheB> but that's just me
<JtotheB> it's a fact that you have to deal with sooner or later <JtotheB> the latent homosexuality involved with masturbating
<JtotheB> did you know that when i was a kid, the first time i masturbated <JtotheB> i was like, "i'm going to get so rich off this" <JtotheB> because i thought i invented it, you know
<JtotheB> make a kid's dick shoot liquid instead of air for the first time, and he thinks he owns the world<Shiv_DFA> if it goes down far enough, you don't feel alot of pain <Shiv_DFA> and in retrospect, that came out *very* wrong
<Flagellus_Maximus> what's the domain for malaysia? <Flagellus_Maximus> .ma? <Dark_Wing> sure <Dark_Wing> why? * ChanServ sets mode: +o Flagellus_Maximus * Flagellus_Maximus sets mode: +b *!*@*.ma <Flagellus_Maximus> because i hate those fuckers
<Ap0c4|yp53_DFA> yeah shiv, its called getting "fucked" in the ass and ending with some anal drippings <Shiv_DFA> you seem well versed <Shiv_DFA> you love me long time, army boy?
Maddox: "Some of the best things in life are free." Yeah? Well so are some of the worst, and I don't see anyone throwing a party when they get cancer."
<All_Star25_nSb> THUNDERWANK *duh DAH DUHHHHH*
<Shiv_DFA> ho ho ho, merry christmas! <Shiv_DFA> now someone give me head
<JohnK> two of the kids are 4 <JohnK> other one is 7 <Shiv_DFA> you've got little kid siblings? <Shiv_DFA> aren't you 30-ish? <JohnK> yep <Shiv_DFA> dude, give your dad a high-five from me
<JtotheB> can i be your friend <JtotheB> i don't eat much <JtotheB> and i'm a quiet masturbater
<Shiv_DFA> 01100110 01101100 01111001 01110000 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01100001 00100000 01110000 01110101 01110011 01110011 01111001 <Shiv_DFA> = flyp is a pussy
<[Grim_FROM]> Isn't there a barstool somewhere out there pining for your ass?
<Shiv_DFA> it's not as fun mocking people when they're sick <Shiv_DFA> it's like kicking a cripple; amusing enough, but altogether unsatisfying
`Wild`[GNR]> cuz SkiD_SKA and Shiv_DFA look similar <Shiv_DFA> something to do with the names starting with S and ending with A <Shiv_DFA> the only other difference being that i'm a canadian, and he gets fucked by his dad
<Dark_Wing_DFA> some ppl have the dumbest things for a quote <Dark_Wing_DFA> "smile its the best way to confuse the enemy" <Dark_Wing_DFA> how about shoot the fucker in the leg and see how much he gets done after that
<JtotheB> and i think i need to start wearing pants when i climb that tree in your yard <Shiv_DFA> you found the boobytraps, did you? <JtotheB> i got a shuriken in my scrotum <JtotheB> you tell me
<Shiv_DFA> so i was talking to a guy the other night, and i told him i'd fucked his mother <Shiv_DFA> and he said his mother was dead <Shiv_DFA> so i said that that explained the worms
<Karam> shiv is a real man and uses 2 hands :P <Shiv_DFA> even then i can only get halfway <Shiv_DFA> it's like trying to climb a rope ladder
<Shoster> You can always buy one of those mail order brides <Shiv_DFA> they keep forgetting to make airholes in the boxes <Shiv_DFA> i mean, they're still useful, but necrophelia just isn't the same unless you knew the person beforehand
<Shiv_DFA> whoops, just installed call of duty under "cakk of duty"
<wombat> Bukkake is when a Mommy and a Daddy and a Daddy and a Daddy and a Daddy and a Daddy and a Daddy and a Daddy all decide that Mommy needs some special facial moisturiser
<lost-and-found> a firewall is just an internet condom
<Shiv_DFA> you'd think people in jerusalem would stop using public transport
<Shiv_DFA> everyone calls their mom "mom" <Oafdog_DFA> actually thats inaccurate <Shiv_DFA> or in your case, "the broad whose snatch i jumped from"
<Shiv_DFA> to make it worse, she's making me go get her books TONIGHT <Shiv_DFA> foot of fucking snow <Dark_Wing_DFA> you got two new tires <Shiv_DFA> and a cell phone <Shiv_DFA> and a liberal coating of blubber
<Shiv_DFA> my msn avatar is black text on a white background <Shiv_DFA> "I ATE YOUR CAT" <Shiv_DFA> it used to be "I FUCKED YOUR MOM," but i got in trouble <Shiv_DFA> from my mom <Shiv_DFA> i didn't fuckin know she used msn
<Shiv_DFA> my shit should be a pokemon <Shiv_DFA> "Clumpysoup, I choose you!" <Shiv_DFA> "Do your Burn Asshole now, Clumpysoup!"
<Shiv_DFA> apparently Clumpysoup's ultimate attack is "put skid marks on Spongebob boxer shorts"
<Hito> dw... do you have a keygen for windows xp pro? <Dark_Wing_DFA> I have a key <Clumpysoup_DFA> heh. i have a lock. <Clumpysoup_DFA> we should go out sometime
<Darkie`In`The`Woodpile_DFA> i can deal with that if you're giving me oral <Shiv_DFA> lol, you'll listen to jewel if i give you oral? <Shiv_DFA> you're such a fag
<Dark_Wing_DFA[FS]> anyway time to go <Shiv_DFA> dick won't jerk itself off, eh?
<Hitopoo> had sex ed today <Shiv_DFA> how old are you again? <Hitopoo> 17
<Shiv_DFA> oh, don't take it personally <Shiv_DFA> i like to compensate for having a small wang
<Shiv_DFA> ooh, the mcdonald's is coming back in a bad way <Shiv_DFA> i wonder if one's intestines can actually uncoil and recoil themselves
<Shiv_DFA> it's amazing how such a relatively small volume of food can wreak havoc of this magnitude <Shiv_DFA> i half expect my colon to make a run for it
<Nei> i'm pregnant with your baby...:o <Shiv> how can you tell? <Shiv> is it biting you from the inside?
<JtotheB> do we really need hobo religious cults? <Shiv_DFA> yeah, i suppose roman catholicism is enough <Shiv_DFA> rimshot!
<Shizzle_DFizzle> my memory is like my dick. massive, awe-inspiring, and useless after thirty seconds.
<demonrage> the fart didnt break your ass shiv, i did :D
<All_Star25_nSb> i need to reprint my fraternal order of mecha-jesus/robo-christ membership badges <All_Star25_nSb> forgot to set the quality level to best
<All_Star25_nSb> I FLIMMAFLAMMA YOUR ELECTRIC BOOGALOO
<Shiv_DFA> hm, my experiment on "if left alone, will a term paper write itself" has failed.
<Shiv_DFA> after the game we just had, his kids are going to look funny
<CaptainGapingAnus_DFA> i made hoofbite bleed from the urethra today, though <CaptainGapingAnus_DFA> he was all "eek!" and i was all "c'mere, bitch"
<CaptainGapingAnus_DFA> i got in a fight with an aussie on a message board, and he started a whole bunch of anti-canadian shit <CaptainGapingAnus_DFA> really ugly stuff <CaptainGapingAnus_DFA> so i told him that the only thing aussies were good for was filling Bali nightclubs with corpses
<All_Star25_nSb> just got back from georgia <Shiv_DFA> and boy is she sore! <Shiv_DFA> RIMSHOT
<Shiv_DFA> i had a girlfriend once who told me she was a bit constipated, and i offered to "loosen things up a bit" <Shiv_DFA> i have such a way with women
<All_Star25_nSb> lol in the back of the religion class this guy screams praise allah and acts like he's firing an ak47 in the air
<All_Star25_nSb> lol a baby seal walks into a club <All_Star25_nSb> i forget the rest, but dean's mother's a whore
* woided tapes a note to a hockey puck and shoots it towards nuckia
<woided> "ohh nuckan, i wub j00" and the seal was like "AROO! AROO! AROO!"
<woided> shiv brought a seal to the prom <Shiv_DFA> shupdemon, your mother took a night off from the blackjack tables
<Shiv_DFA> wtf business is it of god's where i shoot my babybatter
<flyp|AROO> omg, the pope banned kerry from eating christ chex?
Click here for my full quotes.txt file (unedited).
Click here the [dh] script.