Lifted from [dh] script, quotes.txt

<Crysta-Shard> well shit and splinters <Shiv> two of the many things stuck up your ass.
<Zechs> u know what makes me cum? <Petra[l33t]> girls sucking your dick like they'r drowning and there's oxygen in your balls?
<Shiv> my idea of a fun night on the town isn't having some doctor hack my sack open with a scalpel, cross some tubes like he's trying to hotwire my balls, and sew me back up again
The day some wack job takes out a dozen school children with a sponge is the day we've truly evolved as a species. - EMT 420
<Cash[demo]> it said missing riff/wiff <Shiv_TXS> what the fuck is a wiff? <Cash[demo]> I dunno but I'm missing it
<|King`Fisherman|> i was feeding my snake, its been a week <|King`Fisherman|> i was fuckin with it taunting it and teasing it <Shiv_TXS> is that a metaphor, kron?
<Shiv_TXS> it was like the devil was raping my ass with a boomstick
<Shiv_TXS> partition magic is the software world's ejaculate in a kleenex lying forgotten by the garbage can
<Shiv_TXS> i could pass a fuckin watermelon through my colon
<Fongo_TXS> whats twat? <CAshsTwat> nothing
<Fongo_TXS> whats masturbate? <Oh|I|Know|BACONISGOOD> its a game fongo * FlypServ wins
* KlesKz|ChannelTHC jumps on pac-man <KlesKz|ChannelTHC> YOU ARE SO MANLU
<|-tHc-|Cash> OH PUT IT IN ME <kles> Put what in ya <Shiv[allsex0redout]> lemonade <Shiv[allsex0redout]> what the fuck do you think?
<wong> i dunno why i eat buffallo wings..every time i do, my bowels have a wattery world war <wong> mmm watery shit
<Shiv[gone]> i suppose i shouldn't say too much when my most common alias is "Sir Humpsalot" <Shiv[gone]> or "Flagellating Gopher"
* FlypServ picks up a javelin with a giant penis head on the end and hurls it at link
<`Apoc`> whats the chances of her becoming pregnant <Apocalypse_DFA[spam-eater]> if she wants to be pregnant, 50%. If she doesnt want to be pregant...100%
<`Apoc`> i blew a load inside my girl <Shiv[0utz0r]> LOL <Shiv[0utz0r]> welcome to the club
<Shiv[gone]> wong doesn't need lube <Shiv[gone]> he's looser than a fifteen year old thai boy
Shiv_TXS: Anyone that easily offended should be dragged out into the street, gangstomped, and hung upside down by their pubic hair to be eaten by starving hamsters.
<Shiv[gone]> i need a dialing wand or something <[WaRZ]Pariah> congratulations shiv... you have graduated from fatass to superfatass
<Shiv_TXS> look on the bright side, at least no one's gonna give you the pooper pumper with a beer tap up the ass
<demon|werk> `addquote <Shiv[gone]> i look like a little girl <PloP`BoT> .·° Quote Added! : <Shiv[gone]> i look like a little girl °·. <Shiv[gone]> i hope you get cancer
<Shiv_TXS> i tried to fix the chink in my neck by karate chopping myself <Shiv_TXS> i think i did permanent damage
<PloP`BoT> j00 - (n): Multiple definitions: Can either mean 'you' or 'jew' <PloP`BoT> Usage: "j00 are a j00 that couldn't scr00 a j00 to make a n00 j00"
<Ghost[Nap]> trying to improve shogo's ai is like trying to fire sardines out of an uzi
Shiv_TXS: anyone from TXS could beat you using only well placed face-mashings on the keyboard.
<FlypServ> my nuts are big and saggy
<Shiv_TXS> fuck we need a shut up button on the ps forums
*** Quits: PloP`BoT ( (Excess Flood) <Hito|Giant|Cakodus> oop<Hito|Giant|Cakodus> i killed plop
<KlesKz> Shiv[gone] talks too much <Shiv[gone]> Shiv[gone] is going to get horny in your ass if you talk to him much more
* Yuri82 milks hito
<KlesKz> My dad has 1 testicle <KlesKz> My sister kicked the other one <KlesKz> and busted it <KlesKz> so he had to get it removed
* FlypServ just blew ass
*** Quits: itsa_trunk ( (gotta go,need to jake off!)
<KlesKz> i wish i were a girl <KlesKz> i just wanna be fucked <KlesKz> if i was a gal <KlesKz> i'd wanna be fucked by a guy
<Oafdog_DFA> i feel like raping a small woodland creature
<Fentoozler51> Operating System: [Windows ME (4.90 - 3000)] Uptime: [54m 16s] CPU: [1-Intel P3 Celeron (Cu), 631MHz, 128KB] Memory: [Usage: 187/255MB (73.33%) [|||||||---]] Network Interfaces: [#1 (PPP Adapter. (9Kb/s) 0.00MB In, 0.00MB Out) #2(Realtek RTL8029(AS) Ethernet Adapt (10Mb/s) 0.81MB In, 6.41MB Out)] Monitor: [1280x1024 16bit [Badazz SysInfo] <Shiv[gone]> i wouldn't fucking admit to having that
<KlesKz> why are you moving <Shiv[gone]> because they found the children i buried in the basement <Shiv[gone]> i guess the kittens stapled to the fence gave me away
<Yo_Mamma> he will beat me with well placed face smashings on the keyboard <Shiv[moving-and-cleaning]> i could beat you with poorly placed face mashings
*** Quits: KlesKz ( (Jizzing on the roof, madness is imminent)
<Spudnewt> I fuck my bed
* KlesKz is now known as Shiv_TXS_56k <Shiv_TXS> i fucking hate you.
<Cash[gotgas]> fold your tongue and scoop it up!
<KlesKz> We are dyslexic of borg. Resiliance is floor tile. You will be ass laminated.
<GB_Shogo> I lay better, ;p <GB_Shogo> oops, PLay
Tommy says: and quite frankly, I don't think I wanna be thinking about someone elses mom when I boink my girlfriend
Tommy says: and where's the "block fatter than Jupiter" button on this damn friendfinder
Tommy says: lowerIntestinal Explorer
<Shiv_TXS> fuck, this muscle in my neck's seizing up again <Shiv_TXS> must... keep... downloading... pr0nz0r
<Yuri82> but we have to keep it in a tank high above in the ceiling <Yuri82> so we can get water pressure <Shiv_TXS> where do you live? zimbabwe?
* Happosai climbs into Zuni's ass.
<FlypVeg> i have a rimjob fetish
The Flagellating Gopher says: i have a new respect for broadband || The Flagellating Gopher says: when i get my DSL hooked up, i think i'm just going to hump it for an hour or two || The Flagellating Gopher says: screaming "I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!" until the police come || Kail says: or your wife knocks you out with a bat
<Yo_Mamma> where has kron been? <Hitocakkidus> he had a large mammal inserted in his ass last i saw
*** Samurai`Jack is now known as Wax0r_Mc`Squirtage
<Shiv_TXS> don't make me take yo_ from behind like we're in Oz, man <Yo_Mamma> lets go to oz
<Shiv_TXS> felching – v. – to complete an act of anal intercourse, whereupon after ejaculating, the male then licks the blood, semen and faeces from the anus of his receptacle. <Wax0r_Mc`Squirtage> you mean, a night with cash
<Shiv_TXS> whoever came up with that color scheme should be hung by their nuts and used as a pinata
<Shiv_TXS> you know i'm in love with you <Oafdog_DFA> i can tell when you let me cum in your hair
<Herolink> i got to good at quake
<hotlipz> hey do any1 wanna chat?
KR0NIK: it's not over 'till the fat lady sucks your knob
*** Quits: FatChickThrilla_DFA (
<Spudnewt> just because you have a firewall doesnt mean you cant send data j00 j0015h j000
<Oafdog_DFA> he said not to cuss so of course me and anjel told him he was a fucking fuckhead who fucked his own fucking mother
* Shiv_CIK does the CIK dance <Shiv_CIK> that's where we fuck oaf up the ass to the tune of a spice girls song, btw
*** Quits: Oafdog_DFA ( (OAF in 2004)
<Shiv_TXS> i really need to clean the keyboard <Anjel_Few[At_work]> hehe, needed to clean the keyboard
<Shiv_TXS> okay kie <Master_K> wtf <Master_K> no kie here <Shiv_TXS> it was an insult. <Master_K> lol, that's why i complained
<Oafdog_DFA> once upon a time, there was this fat guy that worked in a hardware store, his name was Oaf. He hated customers. One day, a bliq lady came in and Oaf started having visions of her lying on the floor in a pool of blood having death spasms, probably caused by the pencil he placed in her ear canal
<Gate7Wizard> I liked him much better as Armegeddon_NWA <Oafdog_DFA> i liked him better as SHOGOUNINSTALLED_NWA
<Shiv_CIK> it was kinda like coming home and finding your pet cat stapled to the bathroom wall
<Gate7Wizard> Um female company has arrived, I will not brb .. need sumthin else heh
<FlypServ> dong gets long, glass shatters inside, pain ensues
* Oafdog_DFA says, Shiv, thats a pretty mouth you have, my only question is, WHY ISN'T IT ON MY COCK!
<Anjel_Few[Werk]> !huggle Shiv_TXS * ChanServ huggles Anjel_Few[Werk] <Shiv_TXS> LOL
<FlypServ> fuckin mexicans, must have a missing gene somewhere that allows the expression of caveman-level agression
<Gladiator> u got herpz? <Yo_Mamma> i had them in the eye
<Gladiator> i am yor ass whipe from downt the street FEED MEE!!!
<FlypServ> how much r33r could a qu33rs sp33r sp33r if a qu33rs sp33r could sp33r r33r
<Shiv_TXS> you should be one of those webcam girls <Oafdog_DFA> old men send me presents to see me in my tight white panties
<Shiv_TXS> he'll be all over you like black on kie
* FlypServ flips demon over and goes to work
<Hotdawg_SKA> anybody here know what Hmong is? <FlypServ> chinese transvestite lesbians
* FlypServ wants to be approved for planetside * Shiv_TXS wants to be approved as a gynecologist, but you don't see that happening either
<Oafdog_DFA> i like hearing big ape-like men singing about raping elderly people, not some skinny teenager whining about his sister's lingerie not fitting him right
<Oafdog_DFA> i know i go to far sometimes when i pray for nuclear holocaust, but just wanting a few simple people to die is not bad
<FatChickThrilla_DFA> yeah but that comes from fisting, not an illness
<Shiv_TXS> no fat, no calories, may cause anal leakage <Shiv_TXS> sign me up
<Yo_Mamma> me takein off my shirt then him takein pics of my jubilies
Shiv_TXS: Maybe if I placed a pencil in your eye you wouldn't be able to post anymore.
*** Oafdog_DFA[cornholing`flypf00] ( has joined #planetshogo
*** Yo_Mamma ( Quit (time to make hot lub to the neighbours)
<Oafdog_DFA> no, he's too busy wondering why he didn't force your mom to have an abortion
<Shiv_TXS> my dick, your ass. try me.
* FlypServ dips his penis in oafs beer
<Shiv_TXS> i want to know who set up authserv so i can fuck them in the nose
<FlypServ> my pet name for my ass is stinky
<FlypServ> i knew something was wrong w/ my sound, one of my speakers is out
<Yo_Mamma> it took me 1 month to figure out that my printer wasnt workin cause a cable was only half in
<FlypServ> i wasnt on the cover of crack whore magazine, canadian edition
<Shiv_TXS> i'm going to go take a shit and a shower <Shiv_TXS> hopefully not simultaneously
<demonrage> `stats <demonrage> `stats you fuck
<demonrage> plop has been unattended for weeks <demonrage> he got a little goofy
<FlypScum> now why the hell would anyone give themselves a screenname of 01purplepenis
<ProgrammerDan_GTS> I'm supposed to be a good typist or something... <ProgrammerDan_GTS> u know... 80 words per minute <ProgrammerDan_GTS> don't ask my error rate, thoug...
<Yo_Mamma> i like my soup the same way i like my salad <Yo_Mamma> a lil runny wit some chunks
* Shiv_TXS was kicked by FatChickThrilla_DFA (.:/eVo\:. ‡‡iRC‡‡...Repeat Flood... ( 60 sec. Ban ) <Kick #36>) *** Now talking in #planetshogo <Shiv_TXS> oh man, is he gonna get it up the ass for that one <FlypServ> i sing too * FlypServ is l337
<Gate[Stove|Slave]> i would have a bionic cak installed, with auto-everything
* Yo_Mamma waits for pyro to quit so smacky and i can talk bout her mom * LOB-PyroChica bows and flies away * LOB-PyroChica has quit IRC <Yo_Mamma> so whats the chances if i flip a coin for her mom i would get head?
Chris B. says: Anthrax in my coffee...Anthrax in my soup...Anthrax up my bunghole...And Anthrax in my poop
<Shiv_TXS> i'm just gonna go jerk myself off with razor blades now.
<Oafdog_DAF> all your ASS belongs to me.
<demonrage> where's the pr0n
<KR0NlK> i should opena pr0nzeria * Shiv_TXS would be your first customer
<Shiv_TXS> every time kron gives me a pr0n link, it's full of morbidly obese people
<Gladiator_TXS_recruit> `urk
<Shiv_TXS> holy fat, batman
<demonrage> wtf this site is like watching animal planet
<KR0NlK> its no good unless there is AT least 3 rolls
*** Yo_Mamma is now known as Yo_The_Dong_Smoker
<c45h> !probe shiv_Txs <c45h> fuk, I can't even probe u
<Oafdog_DFA> YEEAAAHHH BOYYYYYYY!!!! Flava Flav Oafdog in tha hizzoowww!
<Yo_Mamma> caps r suck
* c45h slaps Shiv around with Yo wrestingling outfit
<c45h> you would if I duck taped you to the ceiling with just your ass exposed
<c45h> KAin cruised all boys schools
<FlypServ> the owner is too skinny though, looks like she took up modeling right after getting out of auschwitz
<Shiv_TXS> my grandmother was jewish! <Shiv_TXS> but now she's soap.
<Shiv_TXS> or i'm gonna find a mig strafing my apartment.
<DooBalI> omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgom
<Shiv_TXS> `url <demonrage> .·° #planetshogo Stats URL: ! °·.
<Oafdog_DFA> come and get it big boy
<Shiv_TXS> that was gayer than ass sex
<Shiv_TXS> gayer than getting a handjob from a semi-conscious black man
*** You were kicked from #sex by OpServ (This channel is illegal.)
<Oafdog_DFA> my ass is on fire
<wongius> I love you deeply, more than the depths of the ocean. I love you with a passion, a passion more ferocious than the raging fires of the sun. My hunger for your love is great, greater than the galaxy. I think about you every night and day. I think I am going mad, but I'm going mad for you. -{To my beloved Shiviepoo
<KlesKz|WaitingLonger4_BB> LOL my cat is giving my other cat a blow job
<Shiv_TXS> jews have the hollocaust, blacks have slavery, japanese have the atomic bomb <Shiv_TXS> canadians have bigger penises, get more sex anually, and DON'T get bombed by ragheads. <Shiv_TXS> we're good.
<c45h> <woiding> <-- 56k <woiding> so i dont wanna lag irc
*** CitizenErazed has quit IRC (If I'd known we were going to end up having sex, I probably wouldn't have wanked off into the mashed potatoes.)
<KR0NlK> thats a black guy thing fat chicks
<GameshowJunkie> i hate my parents <GameshowJunkie> they make me go to bed at 11
<Oafdog_DFA> my bot blows worse than shiv at a priest convention
<Shiv_TXS> uhm... she took a tentacle up the ass for her father once.
<Shiv_TXS> the only true antivirus is darwinism
<SkiD_SKA> ...... *** SkiD_SKA ( Quit (SkiD_SKA) <Shiv_TXS> moron
<CountFragula> chicks think its rad when you tell em you have a bad ass DVD player that lets you copy videos to tape. its a total aphrodisiac to them
<FlypServ> cash made me dilate half a foot
* SkiD_SKA has had under-aged sex... <Shiv_TXS> your cat doesn't count <FlypServ> neither does your stepdad
<KR0NlK> my woman is not large, 102 lbs <S_M_G> 3 ft tall
<FlypServ> i wonder if butch lesbians are lesbians simply because theyre ugly
<Shiv_TXS> mob knows he'll be all over him like kerosene on a black church
<FlypServ> and now.. oaf jumping on trampolines <FatChickThrilla_DFA> oh god no
<FlypServ> "what can i say about hugh hefner that hasnt already been incoherently mumbled by a young woman with his cock in her mouth"
Shiv_TXS: shit, they'd need a wheelbarrow to take away my foreskin
<Shiv_TXS> i practically lost a testicle to frostbite putting up my xmas lights
<Shiv_TXS> jesus count, do you know EVERYTHING? <CountFragula> um, looks like theres some gaps in quantum theory and man/boy love in there
<wongmaster> my ass hurts alot
Darrick says: I might have a date friday night | Darrick says: with a girl
<GSJ_OperaOwnz> she's got a wang, thats so photoshop
<Blue_nSb> I hope you fall off a cliff, and catch ur wang on a jagged rock, and ur wang holds u 1,000 feet above ground
<GSJ_NoSchoolTomorrow> i know someone who bought an n64 game, filed it to fit in his floppy and got mad because it wouldn't work
<Giggs_TXS> good lord if u must know im 6'2 145 lbs
<Shiv_TXS> i just want to grab my modem and fuck it to death
<Oafdog_DFA> i'd like to see kie with a spork sticking out of his spleen
<Shiv_TXS> jesus, you'd think darwinism would've weeded kie out by now
<Shiv_TXS> his train of thought is more meandering than the piss trail of a vietnam POW with broken glass shoved in his urethra
<Shiv_TXS> flyp, go throw another j00 on the fire or something <FlypServ> hmm, campfire does look a little low
<flyp|essay`writing> shiv is a spaceman, he can ignite my rocket any day
<Oafdog_DFA> lol no wonder the nuck life expectancy is like 35 years <Shiv_TXS> only when we go to war alongside the US :)
<Shiv_TXS> my mouth feels like it was raped by someone with a really small penis <Shiv_TXS> small, spiky, steel penis [NOTE: just got back from a dentist appointment]
<Shiv_TXS> figure i'll just barricade myself in the computer room with a bucket and a box of kraft dinna
<demonrage> gaydar usually points to doo
<Flypcyd> thats like taking pride in being prime minister of canada
*** Quits: FuBaR ( (Read error: 69 (Excessive sex))
<Flypcyd> shiv drinks beer out of mammas grand canyonesque asscrack <Shiv_TXS> the only asscrack i drink out of is tubgirl's
<Shiv_TXS> stupid cunt network <Shiv_TXS> i'd like to hold that server down and fuck it until it's mom gets a sore snatch
<demonrage> whoever tries to takeover the channel and not restore peace will result in swift flooding
<Shiv_TXS> you're a bot? <|King`Fisherman|> depejnds on which subject your refering too
<FlypServ> at least know the proper name of the outlet for your subhuman tendencies
<Shiv_TXS> i'll give you a reacharound no matter how much you owe.
<Shiv_TXS> will anyone trade oral sex for a 12V, 1A DC power adapter?
<FatChickThrilla_DFA> cancer owns <FatChickThrilla_DFA> especially when people i hate get it
<Shiv_TXS> if you're buggering santa while he's going down on jesus, that quantifies bad sexual deviation <Oafdog_DFA> meing, don't talk about jesus, especially not near his bday
<Shiv[gone]> well, it's not really *on* the scrotum <Shiv[gone]> off to the left, but close enough to have accessed all the scrotal pain sensors
<BlaqServ> so it basically hax0red your ball nerve network
<Shiv[gone]> from now on, when i find something growing on my scrotum, i leave it alone
*** Oafdog_DFA is now known as Oafdog_DFA[amish`buffet]
<FlypServ> ive only known two eq addicted people, one grew up and the other dumped me to work on her character
<Shiv[gone]> hey, it works for me. he's paying me $10/h to be an accountant <Shiv[gone]> even though the work makes me want to fuck my own eyesockets
<Oafdog_DFA> Once upon a time there was a guy named Oaf. His favorite hobby was raping elderly people. One day after he nutted on an old mans face, he looked down and noticed the old man was actually a 20 year old asian man, with downs syndrome
<Gladiator_TXS> discovery was the closest porn i could get as a young 1
* FlypServ services shiv
<All_Star25_nSb> well alcohol prolly reduces the risk of infection i think... <Shiv_TXS> so does peroxide <Shiv_TXS> and it doesn't make you feel like you just dipped your scrotum in a paper shredder
<Shiv_TXS> the ability to use IRC before the age of 25 pretty much guarantees the fact that you'll be a virgin into your forties
<Apocalypse_DFA> shiv and yin and yang
*** FlypServ is now known as flyp|powerdump
<FlypServ> oh its centerprises <FlypServ> wtf is a centerprise <Shiv[gone]> enterprises <Shiv[gone]> you fucking gook <FlypServ> god damnit <FlypServ> lol
<c45h> scruggs got beefed by a chick wearing a windowss rocks shirt
<Shiv_TXS> holy big tits, batman
<Shiv_TXS> how did i ever fucking survive on dialup <c45h> how do you survive living in igloos? <Shiv_TXS> how did you survive sitting on my cock? <c45h> that was your cock? I thought I ahd a splinter <Shiv_TXS> i'm sure that's what you told the doctors later <Shiv_TXS> "really sir, a splinter turned my anus into hamburger"
<Shiv_TXS> i'd rather pull a testicle out of my urethra
<FlypServ> nuck Sons of bitches <Shiv[gone]> you'd think years of being abused about your sexual orientation would've given you a thicker skin
<FlypServ> lol, if i was going to join a clan ever again, i wouldnt do it with shogo, and i certainly wouldnt pick a foreigner clan <Shiv_TXS> plus you'd have to find a clan full of crossdressing pedophiles
<Shiv_TXS> i just spent thirty seconds looking for my lighter before realizing i was holding it <Shiv_TXS> so maybe i should shut it
Closing Link: KlesKz[] Hub.Elite-Irc.Net (Killed (moe (you are an ass.)))
<Shiv_TXS> what time zone are you living in? 1994? <woiding> 1994 isnt a time zone u nutsak * Shiv_TXS kicks the sarcasm fairy
* Shiv_TXS buggers demon with the sarcasm fairy
<ProgrammerDan_GTS> get license get car drive... freedom <Shiv_TXS> get license get car get girl pregnant in backseat <Shiv_TXS> != freedom
<Gate7Wizard> Ahh mamma /me want to squeeze freshness from your juicy n00bs
<KlesKz> shiv hasn't blown his load in 14 minutes
<ProgrammerDan_GTS> and kleskz with random non-sensical comments
<Shiv[sex0r]> Note to Self: do NOT attempt to multitask by removing contact lenses while peeing
<KlesKz> my cat walks by and i start laughing <KlesKz> so don't mind my monologues
* KlesKz is choking on his own cum
<KlesKz> If I told you I blew a hole in my ass would that get on the quotes? <Shiv_TXS> no
<Oafdog_DFA> god i wish the south had won
<Spudnewt> blow chunks like a dog with west nile virus, mother fucka
<Oafdog_DFA> only reason i know about Ontario is because of Bret Hart <Shiv_TXS> bret hart was from alberta <Oafdog_DFA> alberta, thats right
*** KlesKz is now known as Shiv|In|A|PinkBikini
Wong_TXS: hey jester i was wondering when ur gonna post official face off times, the thing is giggs has to leave sat night for ultimate frisbee gay orgy or something
<Shiv|In|A|PinkBikini> I passed a dishwasher thru my ass once and took it to russia <Shiv|In|A|PinkBikini> where i met vlad the inhaler <Shiv|In|A|PinkBikini> they sent me to mars and when i came back i had to go thru customs
<Shiv_TXS> stop trying to download pictures of jesus cornholing santa while giving birth on toby keith's tummy-tum
<Shiv|In|A|PinkBikini> my brother is a 13 year old virgin (i think)
*** Quits: SHiv|in|a|pnik|bikni ( (Quit: heh) <SHiv|in|a|pnik|bikni> wroign buttoj
<SHiv|in|a|pnik|bikni> ITS MY LACK OF SPALCE <SHiv|in|a|pnik|bikni> BACLKSPACE
<smoth_is_cleaning> my diskwasher is broken...
<Oafdog_DFA> oooooohhhhhh, i'm gonna be conductor on the MANTRAIN!
<Oafdog_DFA> Mr T was bling bling before there was bling bling
* Spudnewt poo
<All_Star25_nSb> woo! * All_Star25_nSb got his sig up <smoth[^evil^]> eewww put that away
* Shiv_TXS plays the Oz game with yo * Yo_Mamma is extra good at that one
<Yo_Mamma> id do norb if i saw him again
<ElevenBravo> man my boxer shorts smell like ass
<ElevenBravo> I'll buy that beotch when I get back from slaying dune coons
<ElevenBravo> flyp, do you use windowsxp? <FlypServ> of course <FlypServ> version stolen.0
<Shiv_TXS> you've never given an all-natural colonoscopy?
<Gate7Wizard> "download now" ?? more like "down the hatch, not the snatch"
<FlypServ> i have to leanrn to flush twice
<ElevenBravo> I wonder how she would react to a 12 inch bliqdiq in her ass
<MassAssGas> Calculus and alcohol do not mix. NEVER drink and derive
<Gate7Wizard> Oaf I can please see your "cob?"
* Gate7Wizard is a itty bitty man wit a BIG BLACK CAK <Oafdog_DFA> ok, that does it, i'm not coming to your house for thanksgiving now gate
* Gate[bustin`a`nut`in`Shivs`hon is now known as G7W[bustin`nuts`in`shiv`honor]
<FlypServ> omg, someone submit my name to
* ElevenBravo shots shiv with the sand nigger ionizor ray
<ProgrammerDan> dude, even a 7 inch cak shows in a singlet <ProgrammerDan> especially when ur name is Yo_Mamma and u get excited
<FlypServ> i always get warm whenever you bring up anuses
<WraithServ> good god, these painkillers RULE
<FlypServ> i need someone to poke something inside me
<Crapse> i mean come on....Mr. T beat T-cell cancer <Crapse> "i pity da f00 who dies from cancer!"
<mamma|morrowind> i just plain masterbate
<Shiv[gone]> although i did manage to fix my wife's hairdryer <Shiv[gone]> so if this one goes really bad, i can hop into a nice hot bath with it
<Shiv[gone]> mosw-mad? <FlypServ[MOSW-MaD]> ministry of silly walks :D
<Gate7Wizard[AFK]> winRAR not work w/Linu? <demonrage> WINrar
*** Continentus_Buttox is now known as He-Whore <He-Whore> by the power of greyskull!
<He-Whore> where they dont suppress ecology like valtrex on herpes
<Shiv[GMAB]> if my daughter hadn't been in the backseat, i would've made honda surprise out of that dog
* ProgrammerDan strokes the great pulsation of oaf's great power
<Fentoozler182> i was snowskating today and i did a flip off some little cliff thing <Fentoozler182> but it wasnt supposed to happen <Fentoozler182> it hurt
<Shiv_TXS> i screamed like a 12 year old boy getting raped by a black porn star
<SteamedHams> if you drop a watermelon off the empire state building, does it get eaten by negroes before it hits the ground?
<Yo_Mamma> i like long things <Yo_Mamma> they atract me
*** parka|TRsupersceinceninja is now known as hotteen886863
<Yo_Mamma> i like to sex the wall
<Yo_Mamma> OMG JIZZY
<Spudnewt> i h4xed my pants + deleted my penis
<flyp|bed> laters b <flyp|bed> christ that sounded ghetto
<Shiv_TXS> he needs it canadian-style <FlypServ> small and barely noticeable? <Shiv_TXS> i was thinking "drunk and semi-conscious," but whatever
<Oafdog_DFA> tell him the one about you and the parapalegic mexican flyp <FlypServ> oh you mean partial pepe?
<FlypServ> so oaf was spanking me on the ass the other day
<Shiv_TXS> tell me a story, flyp <Shiv_TXS> and not one of your getting fucked up the ass stories, either
<demonrage> thats like licking someone elses ass man
<Shiv_TXS> flyp's a south african waterjew
<Gladiator_TXS> im the 1337 hoxpr
<Spudnewt> i dont wanna lose my virginitty
<FlypServ> i got poop on my hand after wiping
<ElevenBravo> you know, the dude that you jerked off in the bathroom at dennys
<Oafdog_DFA> you are a subject when you have no weaponry
<Shiv_TXS> where flyp is permanently suspended above a vat of boiling mexican lard, being spanked by demented monkeys?
<demon|werk> if you're listening to anything im saying, remember this one important thing <demon|werk> there is no sex in flyp's bedroom
<Shiv_TXS> the mexicans are your enemies <Shiv_TXS> they invented tequila to intoxicate, then impregnate
<Yo_Mamma_FEW> cause i cant spell worth hsit
<ripper> nah <ripper> its safe <ripper> I know what I'm doing
<Spudnewt> his last movie had to do something with anal hampsters
<Count> here comes 11 inches of digital niggaconda
<Shiv[class]> "Hey, Mr. President. When even the Germans don't want to fight, take the fucking hint."
<FlypServ> if we got david hasselhoff to tell the germans that war with iraq is good, theyd jump on the bandwagon in a heartbeat
<Shiv_TXS> my ass would make an excellent sanding device
<Shiv_TXS> my anal hair already has industrial uses
<Shiv_DFA> i'd be on fire faster than a black texan's lawn
<woid`lola`woid> like we'll be talkin bout ranch and he'll bust in and say "i fucked my dog last nite"
<FlypServ> you guys treat your state cops way better than we treat ours <Shiv_DFA> that's because ours don't shoot hobos for sport
<chisoxiest> is it just me... or does eveyone think that quadrapelegics are greedy? <chisoxiest> "i can't reach that" <chisoxiest> "i'm not tall enough" <chisoxiest> i mean c'mon now
<Shiv_DFA> no, i KNOW you're wrong <Shiv_DFA> if you were any MORE wrong you'd have a great big fucking "WRONG" sticker on your face
* Shiv_DFA changes topic to 'Happy "I Just Had Your Mom Day" to Ragener"
<FatChickThrilla_DFA> eh, even if i say ok, i'll still hold whatever you do against you <Shiv_DFA> however, saying "okay" may be difficult enough when you have to mumble it around my cock
<Oafdog_DFA> insult it if you want, but don't fuck with batman
<Powdered`Toast`Man> i just found out that shiv is the one thats keeping the black man down
<woid`macheen> he lives up the the jewish ways 100% <Shiv_DFA> ending life inside a german bakery?
<Count> someone needs to come up with a genetic tweak that makes tits produce tequila
<SkiD_SKA> I don't live by anybodys rules <Shiv_DFA> you're 13 <Shiv_DFA> you live by your mother's, you little retard
BingeAndPurge: I kill more fags than aids
<Shiv_DFA> gamesnet goes down more often than my wife
<Shiv_DFA> i'll wrap up my carpal-infested wrist and slap you around like a week-old bonor
<Shiv_DFA> doesn't help that i have to poo, but i'm afraid that if i leave the computer room i'll end up finding more stuff that i have to do <Shiv_DFA> whoa, that almost rhymes <Shiv_DFA> that's a poem about pooing
<Shiv_DFA> holy christ that was a big shit <Shiv_DFA> i think i saw through time
<Shiv_DFA> lol, korean <Shiv_DFA> they're the mexicans of the orient
<Shiv_DFA> how about i show you the thermodynamics of my fist in your eye, churchie!
<Shiv_DFA> no sense giving you preferential treatment <B-Real> preferential? that doesnt even make sense <Shiv_DFA> wtf? <Shiv_DFA>
<Shiv_DFA> if i wanted to see some ugly 40 year old chronic cracksmoker with big floppy fake tits, I'D GO TO FLYP'S HOUSE
<Dark`Phoenix_DFA> wtf do you think i'm doing <Oafdog_DFA> preparing to be slapped by my cock
<Shiv_DFA> i fucked him like he was a rented hamster
<Shiv_DFA> mentally, i took her from behind like we were in prison
<Shiv_DFA> jesus fucking FUCKBALLS ASSCHRIST
<Shiv_DFA> and the british columbians are all chinese boat people who don't speak english anyway
<Shiv_DFA> jesus fucking FUCKBALLS ASSCHRIST
* Harry`Penis busts mad muggle nutmustard all over CS
*Oafdog_DFA is now known as the`artist`formerly`known`as`gristletits
* Shiv_DFA installs patented shup software on flyp's computer | * no`talent`ass`clown uninstalls shup software | * Shiv_DFA flashes flyp's bios to include the shup software | no`talent`ass`clown goes skynet on shiv and takes over canadas internet *| Shiv_DFA installs windows ME on flyp | * no`talent`ass`clown dies
<Oafdog_DFA> kk's make me wanna molest old ladies <FatChickThrilla_DFA> air makes me wanna molest old ladies, wtf does kk have to do with that
<All_Star25_SKA> many canadians can find common ground with americans <Andrew[DFA]> yeah, our leader talks funny and yours bombs a country ive never heard of every five years
<Shiv_DFA> apparently the airspeed of an unladen swallow is 24 miles an hour
<Shiv_DFA> hey flyp, did you know that the airspeed of an unladen swallow is 24 miles an hour? <demonrage> i bet ur thinking "i can swallow faster than that"
<Shiv_DFA> cursed azn <Shiv_DFA> the hiroshima radiation gave you all superpowers
<Proffessor> it was the next coming of jesus.... but, nooooooo, you had to play with the coathanger
<Shiv_DFA> hm, the irony of "enlighten the nucks" is that my psu is an enlight <Shiv_DFA> and why did i just read "psu" as "penis"
<Shiv_DFA> back in the old days, you used windows media player and LIKED it <Shiv_DFA> you know why? anything else gave you CANCER
<+Ivy[OmNi]> so.. you come here often? Lemme buy you a drink <@Warlock[OmNi]> im a minor <+Ivy[OmNi]> it's all good, I am a pedophile... I have candy
<Shiv_DFA> oh my god, i just ripped the biggest fart of my life <Shiv_DFA> i think i broke my ass
<Shiv_DFA> i'll be up your ass like a backwards shit
Shiv_DFA: You can't tell, but right now I'm taking a shit on an effigy of you.
<Oaf_DFA> man, that one felt so big coming out i thought i was gonna have to name it
*** Now talking in #tZrhj26trDS4yurgrCNR4eyd | *** Topic is 'The Only Channel With A Name Created By Head-Butting The Keyboard'
<Shiv_DFA> hey guys, what's long and hard and fucks old people? <Oafdog_DFA> my dick? <Shiv_DFA> cancer! <Shiv_DFA> badda-BING
<Oafdog_DFA> lol, i was just sitting on the toilet the other night, heard the computer beep, came in, saw virus, freaked out <Shiv_DFA> did you wipe first, or did you just run screaming to the computer while covered in shit? <demon|werk> prolly went streaking outside <demon|werk> yelling "i have a virus and a dirty bum!"
* Shiv_DFA deletes oaf's country <Shiv_DFA> country music, that is <Shiv_DFA> not the united states
<Shiv_DFA> he's just mad because he's one of those chinese boatpeople, and i reported him to immigration <Shiv_DFA> "you make me go back to motherland, ching-chong-chang"
<Cairn> i am a native <Cairn> which probably means i've jacked your bicycle at one point
<Shiv_DFA> "i dunno what's up with that crazy negro, Mr Officer" <Shiv_DFA> "he started screaming all sorts of baboon words at me, and i don't speak monkey"
<twiztid> niggers were imported here <twiztid> they are not nuck <Shiv_DFA> we needed someone to mow the grass
<Shiv_DFA> well, they're azn <Shiv_DFA> prolly too busy getting degrees and owning people in starcraft
<Al_DFA> highlander, what a bitch <Al_DFA> he should come back when his balls drop
<Shiv_DFA> dude, toronto flushes it's poop into lake ontario <Shiv_DFA> and ontario goes right into lake michigan <Shiv_DFA> you're drinking our poop, man <demon|werk> ur not dumping your waste into fresh water u monkey <Shiv_DFA> shup poopdrinker
<Dark_Wing> watching star trek... and Data is nipple hard
<`Apoc`> i want anal! cha cha cha!
<Shiv_DFA> shit, the first time i did that, i had nuts the size of basketballs for a week <JtotheB> i immediately went home and covered my mirror in semen <JtotheB> but that's just me
<JtotheB> it's a fact that you have to deal with sooner or later <JtotheB> the latent homosexuality involved with masturbating
<JtotheB> did you know that when i was a kid, the first time i masturbated <JtotheB> i was like, "i'm going to get so rich off this" <JtotheB> because i thought i invented it, you know
<JtotheB> make a kid's dick shoot liquid instead of air for the first time, and he thinks he owns the world<Shiv_DFA> if it goes down far enough, you don't feel alot of pain <Shiv_DFA> and in retrospect, that came out *very* wrong
<Flagellus_Maximus> what's the domain for malaysia? <Flagellus_Maximus> .ma? <Dark_Wing> sure <Dark_Wing> why? * ChanServ sets mode: +o Flagellus_Maximus * Flagellus_Maximus sets mode: +b *!*@*.ma <Flagellus_Maximus> because i hate those fuckers
<Ap0c4|yp53_DFA> yeah shiv, its called getting "fucked" in the ass and ending with some anal drippings <Shiv_DFA> you seem well versed <Shiv_DFA> you love me long time, army boy?
Maddox: "Some of the best things in life are free." Yeah? Well so are some of the worst, and I don't see anyone throwing a party when they get cancer."
<Shiv_DFA> ho ho ho, merry christmas! <Shiv_DFA> now someone give me head
<JohnK> two of the kids are 4 <JohnK> other one is 7 <Shiv_DFA> you've got little kid siblings? <Shiv_DFA> aren't you 30-ish? <JohnK> yep <Shiv_DFA> dude, give your dad a high-five from me
<JtotheB> can i be your friend <JtotheB> i don't eat much <JtotheB> and i'm a quiet masturbater
<Shiv_DFA> 01100110 01101100 01111001 01110000 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01100001 00100000 01110000 01110101 01110011 01110011 01111001 <Shiv_DFA> = flyp is a pussy
<[Grim_FROM]> Isn't there a barstool somewhere out there pining for your ass?
<Shiv_DFA> it's not as fun mocking people when they're sick <Shiv_DFA> it's like kicking a cripple; amusing enough, but altogether unsatisfying
`Wild`[GNR]> cuz SkiD_SKA and Shiv_DFA look similar <Shiv_DFA> something to do with the names starting with S and ending with A <Shiv_DFA> the only other difference being that i'm a canadian, and he gets fucked by his dad
<Dark_Wing_DFA> some ppl have the dumbest things for a quote <Dark_Wing_DFA> "smile its the best way to confuse the enemy" <Dark_Wing_DFA> how about shoot the fucker in the leg and see how much he gets done after that
<JtotheB> and i think i need to start wearing pants when i climb that tree in your yard <Shiv_DFA> you found the boobytraps, did you? <JtotheB> i got a shuriken in my scrotum <JtotheB> you tell me
<Shiv_DFA> so i was talking to a guy the other night, and i told him i'd fucked his mother <Shiv_DFA> and he said his mother was dead <Shiv_DFA> so i said that that explained the worms
<Karam> shiv is a real man and uses 2 hands :P <Shiv_DFA> even then i can only get halfway <Shiv_DFA> it's like trying to climb a rope ladder
<Shoster> You can always buy one of those mail order brides <Shiv_DFA> they keep forgetting to make airholes in the boxes <Shiv_DFA> i mean, they're still useful, but necrophelia just isn't the same unless you knew the person beforehand
<Shiv_DFA> whoops, just installed call of duty under "cakk of duty"
<wombat> Bukkake is when a Mommy and a Daddy and a Daddy and a Daddy and a Daddy and a Daddy and a Daddy and a Daddy all decide that Mommy needs some special facial moisturiser
<lost-and-found> a firewall is just an internet condom
<Shiv_DFA> you'd think people in jerusalem would stop using public transport
<Shiv_DFA> everyone calls their mom "mom" <Oafdog_DFA> actually thats inaccurate <Shiv_DFA> or in your case, "the broad whose snatch i jumped from"
<Shiv_DFA> to make it worse, she's making me go get her books TONIGHT <Shiv_DFA> foot of fucking snow <Dark_Wing_DFA> you got two new tires <Shiv_DFA> and a cell phone <Shiv_DFA> and a liberal coating of blubber
<Shiv_DFA> my msn avatar is black text on a white background <Shiv_DFA> "I ATE YOUR CAT" <Shiv_DFA> it used to be "I FUCKED YOUR MOM," but i got in trouble <Shiv_DFA> from my mom <Shiv_DFA> i didn't fuckin know she used msn
<Shiv_DFA> my shit should be a pokemon <Shiv_DFA> "Clumpysoup, I choose you!" <Shiv_DFA> "Do your Burn Asshole now, Clumpysoup!"
<Shiv_DFA> apparently Clumpysoup's ultimate attack is "put skid marks on Spongebob boxer shorts"
<Hito> dw... do you have a keygen for windows xp pro? <Dark_Wing_DFA> I have a key <Clumpysoup_DFA> heh. i have a lock. <Clumpysoup_DFA> we should go out sometime
<Darkie`In`The`Woodpile_DFA> i can deal with that if you're giving me oral <Shiv_DFA> lol, you'll listen to jewel if i give you oral? <Shiv_DFA> you're such a fag
<Dark_Wing_DFA[FS]> anyway time to go <Shiv_DFA> dick won't jerk itself off, eh?
<Hitopoo> had sex ed today <Shiv_DFA> how old are you again? <Hitopoo> 17
<Shiv_DFA> oh, don't take it personally <Shiv_DFA> i like to compensate for having a small wang
<Shiv_DFA> ooh, the mcdonald's is coming back in a bad way <Shiv_DFA> i wonder if one's intestines can actually uncoil and recoil themselves
<Shiv_DFA> it's amazing how such a relatively small volume of food can wreak havoc of this magnitude <Shiv_DFA> i half expect my colon to make a run for it
<Nei> i'm pregnant with your baby...:o <Shiv> how can you tell? <Shiv> is it biting you from the inside?
<JtotheB> do we really need hobo religious cults? <Shiv_DFA> yeah, i suppose roman catholicism is enough <Shiv_DFA> rimshot!
<Shizzle_DFizzle> my memory is like my dick. massive, awe-inspiring, and useless after thirty seconds.
<demonrage> the fart didnt break your ass shiv, i did :D
<All_Star25_nSb> i need to reprint my fraternal order of mecha-jesus/robo-christ membership badges <All_Star25_nSb> forgot to set the quality level to best
<Shiv_DFA> hm, my experiment on "if left alone, will a term paper write itself" has failed.
<Shiv_DFA> after the game we just had, his kids are going to look funny
<CaptainGapingAnus_DFA> i made hoofbite bleed from the urethra today, though <CaptainGapingAnus_DFA> he was all "eek!" and i was all "c'mere, bitch"
<CaptainGapingAnus_DFA> i got in a fight with an aussie on a message board, and he started a whole bunch of anti-canadian shit <CaptainGapingAnus_DFA> really ugly stuff <CaptainGapingAnus_DFA> so i told him that the only thing aussies were good for was filling Bali nightclubs with corpses
<All_Star25_nSb> just got back from georgia <Shiv_DFA> and boy is she sore! <Shiv_DFA> RIMSHOT
<Shiv_DFA> i had a girlfriend once who told me she was a bit constipated, and i offered to "loosen things up a bit" <Shiv_DFA> i have such a way with women
<All_Star25_nSb> lol in the back of the religion class this guy screams praise allah and acts like he's firing an ak47 in the air
<All_Star25_nSb> lol a baby seal walks into a club <All_Star25_nSb> i forget the rest, but dean's mother's a whore
* woided tapes a note to a hockey puck and shoots it towards nuckia
<woided> "ohh nuckan, i wub j00" and the seal was like "AROO! AROO! AROO!"
<woided> shiv brought a seal to the prom <Shiv_DFA> shupdemon, your mother took a night off from the blackjack tables
<Shiv_DFA> wtf business is it of god's where i shoot my babybatter
<flyp|AROO> omg, the pope banned kerry from eating christ chex?

Click here for my full quotes.txt file (unedited).
Click here the [dh] script.