I've decided to be a little more stringent in the acceptance policies of the clan. Anyone wishing to join is hereby required to fill this form out in full and email it to shiv_@hotmail.com for review. All prospective members will have a personal interview with either me or one of the higher ranking members, as well as a match or two (or ten) to decide ability level. Entrance requirement levels are not as high as most clans seem to be, nor do we descriminate between friends and enemies. We're all the same in Clan Phallus: meaning, of course, that we're all pieces of shit playing a videogame a tad too much.

Anyway, save this webpage, fill out the information, and email it to me. I'm too lazy to set up any sort of HTML form if you're wondering.

Real Name (first will suffice):
Location (state/province will suffice):
Conection Speed:
Favorite OF Weapon:
Favorite MCA Weapon:


NOTE: the following questions MUST be answered truthfully. I have magical psychic powers remember, so I'll know if you're lying.

Have you ever cheated? (rapid fire, walk through walls, MCA weapons in OF levels)
Have you ever masturbated to the point of ejaculating on your monitor?
Have you ever caused me (Shiv) to get into a flame war with you?
Have you ever called yourself "31337" and not been kidding?
Are you named KidNBro?
How long have you been playing Shogo?
Do you have any particular skills that would be an asset to us?
Do you have large, luscious breasts?
Are you already a member of a different clan?
Do you acknowledge that by joing Clan Phallus, you've forfeited all material posessions to the property of The Phallic Enterprises?


To reiterate, fill out this form and send it to shiv_@hotmail.com, along with $500 processing fee or a large case of beer. Thank you for your time.

(c)Copyright 2000, Phallic Enterprises Ltd